Coping with Loss - A day at a time!

"Do not cry because it is over, Smile because it happened." - Dr Seuss.

Coping with 'Loss' is something we all go through some or the other time in our lives. The loss of a loved one, the loss of wealth, the loss of health. Whatever the loss, no matter the magnitude or the impact - we all have experienced it and would continue to do so. Nothing in life is constant other than change!

How we cope with a particular loss is different for different people depending on the situation they face. When you loose an item or a thing, you ponder about it for sometime, try and remember where you may have lost it, tracing back the steps trying to find it and after awhile if unsuccessful you just move on.

However when you loose someone close to you, the feeling of loss is so intense that it hurts immensely. Coping with this loss can only happen over time and there is no right or wrong way to go about it. What is more important is to cope with it the healthy way. We all need time to grieve and this feeling of loss & sadness too shall pass by.

There are various stages a person goes through when dealing with a loss as shown in the pictograph. A person may or may not experience all these stages when they loose someone near and dear, but it is more or less the cycle that follows. It is important to remember that the person you may have lost has gone to a better place and cherish the memories you have had with them. Be thankful for having been fortunate enough to be a part of their life - have no regrets an don't blame yourself.

You need to acknowledge the pain and loss you feel and not fight it. The circle of life continues - be strong, express and share your feelings and move forward once you are comfortable to do so. For some it may be easy to move along and for others it may take longer time. If you are struggling to deal with such loss for a longer time which is affecting your way of life - you may consider seeing a therapist as it could be a complex case in dealing with your grief.

Support of family and close friends at this juncture is of immense help. In case you happen to know someone unable to cope with their grief, give them a shoulder to cry on, listen to them and not say 'such is life', 'move-on', 'get over it'! It takes time and only people who can empathize can actually help in more ways than you can imagine.

 Take time, cherish what you have today, live and love in the moment and don't have regrets for tomorrow!

Being Thankful - A day at a time!

Life is not always as we want it to be!

There are times when things go our way, which lift up the spirits and emotions. And then there are times when they don't go the way they were planned, which end up holding us back and bringing us down! We cannot control our destiny but can definitely control how we get there. The journey of our life has it's ups and downs but the best way forward that I have realized is to be thankful. Being thankful for what I am today, for all that I have received and for all the opportunity I have been presented!

You see, we don't realize the actual value of our own life and many a times we take it for granted. This thought process for me was not a very beneficial one as it stopped me from experiencing life to the fullest. Living carefully is one thing, but that shouldn't stop you from experiencing life! And the best way to experience life that I have realized is to live it of course.

Now you may well say that we all are living our lives, but are we really living this life? Would you have any regrets of not doing something if you were to die tomorrow? If yes - then what is stopping you from doing it today and why? If you can change your perspective - live like you are dying, then you shall appreciate all that is around you. You will automatically try and soak up all the energy and feelings of even the simplest of things, to enjoy the sensations, the experience, the adventure called life!

Everything in life has a purpose, even the leaves on a tree. They may seem to grow haphazardly, but if you observe closely the leaves grow in such a manner that they all receive the sunlight they require to grow.

Be thankful, uplift your spirits, life is just too short to hold a grudge and be angry

So here I am thanking you all and everyone who has been a part of my life's journey whether in a fleeting visit or being for my guiding star.

Welcoming the New Years with my honest gratitude for the life I have been given!

Cheers.

Changing for Hapiness - A day at a time!

Yesterday, I came across this incredible statement - 'changing the outside is far easier than changing the inside'!

There was so much power in this statement that it got me thinking. I started reflecting within myself and found the statement to be so-so true.

The saying by Greek philosopher, Heraclitus ‘Change is the only constant’ holds true, but still when we try and bring about change ourselves we end up with quite a challenging task! Why is this?

Well all this reluctance to move is inherently built within our systems and we need to take positive  actions to ensure we change them. The whole idea to bring about change in ourselves is with a purpose, the purpose to seek happiness, and every actions we take is a step towards seeking that purpose.

Go through your day in your mind and figure out the actions you have taken and try to put them in perspective of  'change for happiness'. Try and figure out what brings you happiness and what fouls your mood. Is there anything you would want to do differently about your day? And if there is, why haven't you done so already? Identifying these bottlenecks is as important as trying to bring about a change.

The ease of bringing about change depends on BMW - not the car but:

• Belief 
• Motivation & 
• Willingness to carry out the change 

There are some things that you can control and some you can't! Concentrate on and change the things that you can control, in order to bring you happiness. And for the ones you can't, well move away from it, there's simply no point of attaching yourself to something that doesn't bring you any happiness anyways.

Different things bring different people happiness. For me I get happiness when I learn something new, that hunger for knowledge should be fed, for others it could be creating Art or Exercising outdoors and for some others Generating Wealth! Whatever it may be, what you need to learn is to direct your actions towards attaining that Happiness. 

You may presently be in a Job that you are doing because you just ended up there - behind the desk, but what if your happiness comes from creating Art? Well, I would suggest you follow your road to happiness and learn the ways of generating some money from it so that it pays yours bills and keeps you happy as well!

Over the course of this Blog I shall share with you some of the options available in today's world in order for you to generate wealth simply by following what brings you Happiness. 

By concentrating on your strengths and ensuring you have a powerful BMW, you can eventually start your journey on the road to Happiness and Complete Fulfillment..

"Be brave. Take risks. Nothing can substitute experience"- Paulo Coelho 

Unclutter your life - A day at a time!

Today I would like to share with you an amazing 4- Simple Steps Approach which you can use now, to unclutter your life and free up your mind!

There have been many times when I have felt as if the whole worlds weight was on my shoulders and that was simply because of my own doing! You see when you start procrastinating you automatically start feeling the weight of your own in-actions as the time for completing a task starts to reduce.

Take this simple example for instance and you will notice exactly what I mean. The next time when you take a break and go for some tea/coffee try this. Instead of taking a sip from your freshly brewed mug and enjoying it's flavorful taste, hold it at arms length. You will initially find it easy to hold, but as the time will pass the weight of the mug would start bearing up on your hands and you will notice an incremental rise in difficulty of trying to hold it up straight! 

Now only if you had taken the sip when the brew was ready, you would have sat comfortably on your couch and enjoyed it to the very last drop! What are you waiting for? There's is no point of preparing your fresh brew and not drinking it! Correct? This true for all the thoughts that go through your mind.  It could be anything ranging from - a job you are required to get done but are not attending to for no particular reason, or when you are planning for a party but it stays in the planning stage till the very end and then you start getting paranoid about it all!  

Snap-Out of it! You need to and you have to, so that you can start taking back control of your life. 

Simple problems develop in to unsolvable mysteries which you should have given some thought to - solved it or let it flow. If certain things are out of your control accept it (or seek help) and work on the things that you can control. The longer you sit on an issue (even the easy ones) it only gets more difficult to bear with time and eventually pulls you down, the stress of a cluttered mind also affects your ability to focus and process information. Once you have resolved an issue, clear it from your mind - avoid keeping distractions. You control what stays in and what goes out.

The 4- Simple Steps Approach

1. Identify & Write Down all your tasks - so that you know exactly what you have to do and not rely completely on memory to remember them. It's just easier to follow and also relaxes your mind by not having to constantly worry about them. You can write it down on a Paper/ Diary/ Computer, No matter where you write you should be able to refer to it easily - that's important.

2. Prioritize - not by the ease of doing things but by its importance to you. You definitely don't want something  that's important to you to just lay around for later.

3. Disconnect to Reconnect - Spend 15 to 20 minutes with yourself doing something that's only for you, (not your spouse/ kids/ family). By spending some time on yourself, you calm you inner-self and avoid getting overwhelmed by circumstances. You disconnect with the outer world to reconnect with your inner world, purging yourself of the mental chatter going through you.

4. Get enough Sleep! - I can't stress on this enough, in today's world with cut-throat competition and never-ending deadlines we end up neglecting ourselves. You need to give your body and mind enough time to rest & reset. This is also the time your mind uses to re-process all the information it has received during the day.

Live your life by enjoying the journey, filling it up with the wonderful experience it has to offer. If something doesn't feel right, move away from it, leave it behind. Because life is too short, especially when you look back at the time that has passed you by.

It feels like it was only yesterday that I was a little boy and how the life has gone by can only be measured in the experiences and memories I have gained in this time.

Don't you think it's about time we give ourselves a break and clear our mind of the clutter we have stored in it?

It's hard to do, but most gratifying - when you learn to unclutter your life a day at a time!

P.S - Please do comment on the methods you adopt to unclutter your life. I would love to hear from you.